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Forever A snippet in time but a year hath made But such a pillow of love my head hath laid Creates a myriad of life time echoes upon A canvas that blooms to life like the dawn As we dance on the lawn of whispering peace With a mutual symbiotic understanding and new found lease On old lives now released, but trudging completed together Brought to wholeness by love – not a tether And now happiness no longer needs to rely solely on the weather… Ali, will you take my hand and venture into forever?
(Justin read this
poem to his fiancée when he proposed.
Other Poetry Collections
In The Beginning:
My soul feels black and emptyLike the deepest pit of hell Blood flows out my emotional wounds And where my light went I cannot tell
I stumble through the swirling black Trying to return from the abyss I feel the claws and clammy hands That love my soul suffering like this
Stumbling into my emotions hands I feel like I can do no right Here once stood a galiant warrior What has become of his great might
From the bottom my ego feeds Like a serpent on the rivers floor Ripped apart by a blackened spear And thrown to bleed up on the shore
Deep inside my mind and heart I can sense some evil seed Try to rip, tear, and extract So my soul can be freed
But loneliness rips into me Like a bullet breaks through bone Giving strength unto the place Where the fabric of my tears is sown
All I want is gentleness To take the emotional pain away The softest touch, the softest word Patience, peace – something kind to say
I have vainly tried to navigate The river where this gentleness may birth How sadly I have been misled For I have found that it is not of this earth
We struggle for control But it is not ours to take It is a desperate illusion That our fleeting mind does make
To tear apart this illusion What would be left behind Anything but fear and hurt Would be very hard to find
We enjoy the illusion of control But the illusion controls us It takes us on our destined ride Like a lonely stranger on the a.m. bus
How quickly we do defend Our anger and our hate Despite an undertow of gentleness That we never quite appreciate
This gentleness could be so grand Just let our defenses fall But someone might see who we really are And pride erects another wall
This wall we call control Let it tumble to the ground To know each other honestly And be not by illusion bound
Is it so hard to give it up And really learn to trust To ever create a closer bond Breaking through the illusion is a must
So let us not be afraid To let our real selves shine through I would consider it a privelage To know the real you
Gentle stirring of wings against the midnight sky She begins her graceful, beautiful dance Those that choose to see and drink her beauty Like a whisper are overcome by her radiant trance
Black against the bright full moon Wings reflecting a translucent, deceptive blue Brought forth from legend and stories old Long forgotten, but now so wonderfully new
Her delicate, graceful butterfly wings Trail behind like streamers in the breeze To some she is aphrodite reborn Yet others in their veins their blood does freeze
How she sadly is often misunderstood Flying lonely without hope – so sad Her wings drooping in quiet despair Shackles of ignorance and hate hurt so bad
She has been searching in vain for her earthly prince Who can break her shackles – her shame That will lift her up and reveal her glory Then all of her enemies she will certainly tame
Oh over the years she has had her suitors Drooling and stumbling over her beauty, power, and might But they could not love past their selfish, stagnate walls So she faded back into the night
She has needed nothing from anyone Yet she has always wanted it all She would drop from the sky like a comet If just one were worthy of answering her call
Some say she is evil, but not evil is she Although her spirit is blacker than slate For god she has searched like a ship in the mist Seeking peace to escape from the hate
A glowing ember amidst the gloom In this stifling furnace we call life A precious breeze in the hottest hell Piercing the heat, misery, and strife
A butterfly among the moths For my weary eyes to behold Adding color, warmth, and sunshine Where all else is black, white, and cold
A warm light against the darkness Of a dark – pitch black day A beacon in the mightiest storm Lighting my path and showing me the way
A sunflower in a field of thorns That stands tall and shines bright – despite The thorns that tangle, pull, and tear Jealous of the sunflowers very sight
Sometimes the world is very cold Numbing me to my fragile bones But then I feel your radiant soul That warms my spirit and creative tones
You have awoken my sleeping creativeness In a sense you have been my muse I mean this in a warm and friendly way As it is not my nature to take and use
So thank you for being there for me Even though I do not make it an easy task I know I am so hopelessly inconsistent And my feelings behind words I mask
But I hope I can be the same for you Your pillar of strength – your light That I can be there when you need me most To frighten off the coldest – darkest night
Black clouds billow on the horizon Evil I see in the lightenings flash I suddenly find myself alone I have been brazen, bold, and brash
I have set my sights too high Set goals I can not achieve Forced to face the storm alone Always the giver – never to receive
Which way has my refuge gone Please point to me the way Left alone out on the limb For the vicious storm to slay
My sunflower seems wilted now Once golden petals turned ashen brown The seeds that once brought me life Have tumbled to the ground
My once beautiful dancing butterfly Who’s wings have now returned to dust That is torn apart and whisked away By the winds slightest gust
My light against the storm Has finally burnt out at last Time and I go marching on Flags hanging at half mast
But I know the storm will pass And my light will return Because I know now that in its heart It is for me my light does burn
Because even in its darkness Life’s illusion does betray And her walls she hides afraid behind Begin to fall away and decay
Pre Happiness:
A bottomless cup of froth thrust before me Rich and verbose yet pointless without what is beneath No warmth of substance I see rising above to nourish So that my psyche and soul may flourish Just a façade of boorish intimacy that teases my senses That lies in wait to tear down my fences Once all my defenses have fallen asunder As I cannot put it down and constantly wonder If everything I have chosen is just a blunder of consequence
Rest assured that I have fervently racked my brain As the tidal wave of futility has struck like a train With my body lain on the track of confusion Being emotionally run down with multiple contusions Ever seeking fusion and a mixture of it all But nothing but uncertainty ever answers the call As I hit the impasse wall with no room to turn And grips like a vice my ability to discern The truth as it burns down to coals and then nothing again
Reality eluding my grasp at every junction Pieces of me whirl willy-nilly serving no real function As I keep feeding at the luncheon of the contrite All apologies rendered yet I keep up the fight I’m sure to the delight of all that I pretense As nothing adds up and I am thrust into nonsense Keeping my body rigid and tense waiting for the sledge hammer blow Of reality to smash down and reap what I sow As I keep my safety boat in tow for yet another day
The question eternal begs to be asked Can we ever move on once the psyche has basked In the glow of albeit masked unconditional love That for all logical purpose seemed like a gift from above Until the past tried to shove the future From a soft peaceful slumber and rip from it the suture That held it all within a waning sepulcher so full of hope That it seems like a nightmare so much that sometimes I can’t even cope But despite it I furiously climb back up the rope to find my destiny
A heart turned hard by another’s greed Bled dry by souls without spiritual creed No one cared as I was in need of something more More than the arrogant core of selfish acts That would not allow my emotions to sore or lead A fringe element seed planted with shackles To hinder me and a heart that needed to be freed
Black like coal my emotions flowed Down a sludge dried river bed my pride tried to row Dusting a mask of soul scum from my face as I toiled And the python coiled and flexed and tortured As my blood felt boiled over as I kept missing the glow The glow of a sacred row of flowers in a lawn That was mowed by a savior that would send the serpent back down below
Finally torn free from the thorn of hate A ragged piece of me still dangling from a despondent mate But good I made my escape into a scary night of change The bottle I tipped would test the range of my sanity Seemingly arranged by God to numb my pain black as slate Filling my plate slowly… not wanting to rush inflicted hurts Slowly speeding up the rate in which my healing may overcome my fate
Then a miracle… a ray of sunlight came streaming through My bewildered eyes stared as a flower grew Certainly just an apparition that would disappear Through the changing mirror of life’s cold wanton waste land But yet there it was standing tall and clear… fresh as dew A wild bird that should have flew, but didn’t As its beauty stirred a slough of feelings bold and new
At first it hurt to learn how to trust Reviving emotion that had turned into rust Ripping the calluses from my weather worn hand Because alone is bland… a tasteless morsel to swallow God whispering for me to take my stand… and listen I must If ever I want to blow off the dust of a torrid past With just one mighty gust – mapping terrain between loving and lust
Easier and easier the feelings they have came Ripping through me like a genesis flame Eating my hurt and bringing me back to life Eroding my personal strife and promoting wellness Performing surgery like a knife… eliminating sadness and blame Taking away my shame like a whirlwind of beautiful leaves Leaving behind not a shred of blame… only our feelings of love that we reach out and claim
My feelings reduced to a snippet in time Ongoing anti-climactic drama cut down in its prime Allowing romantic vines to climb only so far Up this sliver of an emotional scar That sets the bar for anything that hopes to be real Perhaps persistence can stay the course so my heart can congeal With the past’s insurgent able to heal the sore And its festering pain that has been at the core Of the height of my heart’s means to implore for its freedom from pain
Click, click the snippets shoot by like a still frame show Good memories individually wrapped with a pretty bow But all eventually get buried in the snow drift of fate The past is here, but the future is already too late The next frame is out the gate into the present abyss Floating unsubstantiated in a primordial mist That pretense the gradual bliss of empty’s calm Soothing my jagged heart as if with a balm As I lay beneath the palm tree of complete nothingness
My mind floating in a sea of tranquility and peace The soul is intact, but the heart has skipped out on its lease And although alive it runs until the issues cease to be of consequence As it wades through the fog and jumps the fence Into a yard of dense foliage and brackish trepidation This eats through my patience like a dollar on inflation As I look for blissful sedation in the eye Of the insufferable storm that lashes me and attempts to pry A reason why from my reluctant consciousness
Jumping back into the arms of thorny love The past invading my future and giving a shove To something shiny from above as I wonder how But God says do not question as he takes a bow And says… my son, the time is now for your service Yet not having a map to heaven sometimes makes me nervous But my soul has long ago become impervious to it all As I build things up to his will and then watch the fall As I taste the bittersweet gall of it all yet once again
The time has come to run into the arms of the clay An un-kilned statue that shimmies and sways Until the day in which I touch the real If I will even recognize it or know how to feel It will be a blessing that appeals to my burgeoning heart That longs for the past to come claim the dart That it blew into me in part to slow me down And to hearken when all that my imagination needs is a noun To describe and tear down the gown that shrouds my senses
Please rescue me from my coffin of obscurity Nails pounded in that tear through my objectivity And challenges my lucidity as it takes hold like a flower But leaves me stranded in the fortress tower Of my failures and lessons not learned as I cower in silence and insecurity Convicted and condemned by the ever growing rings of uncertainty The age old power that displaces my simplicity and threatens to steal my infinity
Just a moment’s peace would be so fine An episode of problem free living even for a short period of time Free from the worries and cares that eat me alive Carnivorous issues that buzz in my head and torment me like bees in a hive As I strive to feel alive and to shed myself of the stifling anxiety That brings me to my knee and seems to arrive when the potential is there to feel sublime God please unveil the time line even as I know the punishment would never fit my crime.
Why can’t I put my talents to any good use Sometimes I feel that my head is caught in a slipknot noose Waiting for the executioner to drop the floor away And let my body drop, pop, and sway When my death could finally not be stayed by a rope that is frayed All my decisions would then be made and I’d be through the abuse And the Lord could cut me loose and take me where life is reversed And ping pong balls rain down on Mr. Moose
Dread be dead and may I awake in my bed And not the one burning inside of my head Snatch me from the nest I have made and pillow on which my head has laid Put there admittedly by myself, but I was nowhere near alone in my efforts As now starts the crusade And the witch hunt that makes me afraid to remember what has been said And how much I’ve bled Dieing in an emotional pool of red The blame all mine after the carnivores have all been fed And my failures and I have been bound tight and wed
Post Happiness:
Simplicity reigns eternal in her complex mind Concealed waves of depth pulsate deep down behind Two, blue liquid crystal eyes enshrined in a beautiful face Natural and free… somewhat rugged yet feminine as lace It is she whom I long to embrace and care for Also to hold in my mind on a pedestal as a tribute to whom I adore Someone I could give my life for and create something greater than solidarity Finding something emotional and a precious gem of rarity As I reverse my polarity and finally see with clarity A truth that can only come from unconditional parity Unbridled and not remotely tethered voracious feelings and passion That feeds off our mighty independent wills and my last bastion Of inner strength that was forged in a fashion that cements the foundation of a home steeped in romance instead of lonely rationalization.
Trying to purge complexity from my rustic soul She feeds my emotion as if from a bowl From which strife has stole a whole lot of time But it is now being made up for with a sequel sublime Challenging my soul to hearken and climb yet again to the pinnacle Purging my mind of anything fallible and cynical My offering otherwise miniscule now overflows the bank… Of passion displaced by the ship of despair that finally sank And subsequently then filled my tank of all things divine I will drink in her outward and internal beauty like wine From a cup so sublime – though my thirst will never end For the one who found me after my heart could mend And is always willing to lend of her heart and an oh so beautiful mind A sincerely crafted package of everything soft, gentle, and kind
She makes me soar with but a subtle touch Lifting me up with a gentle, emotional crutch That lifts me up as such as I long to return the same Equal amounts of giving and receiving without casting blame But igniting a flame that devours the dark Allowing the sun to shine through my walls like a stroll in the park Bricks falling like rain – hitting their mark in the sand Always seeming to find a safe… soft place to land As we make our stand in a world ruled by none Life forced pumped in as together we worship the one Who has already won even as the battle rages on Sneaks through like a thief in the night – waking to a beautiful dawn As we both lounge on the lawn of blessed eternity
If a smile could heal, yours would be the chosen one Like a pardon from winter by the hands of a golden ray of sun The melting accomplished and done has left rivulets pouring from a heart Once frozen so hard the slightest touch would cause it to crack apart Before it could even start to soften and be of any practical use But you have managed to stave the cold and set it loose Removing it from its frigid noose of sorrow and despair Taking my heart by the hand and gently guiding with such great care Coaxing hidden feelings from their lair of loneliness and confusion Daring to believe in something that in the past has been but an illusion In my life, fusion has been for others to enjoy… eluding me But hope burns eternal in a smile that threatens to turn my heart free A smile which unrolls the scroll that houses the decree of its gratitude As my soul sails on the vessel of your radiant warmth towards uncharted latitudes Doing away with the platitude that has been the bane of an inept life song Whisking away the feeling that whatever path I have chosen is wrong As we move along the gentle slope to happiness upon the strength of a smile
A dislodged rationalizing thought drifts aimlessly and is expelled The nocuous creature rendered powerless to repel The random thoughts of her on my lapel, which I desire to be sacred Conjuring delightful images to my senses, not the acrid Lackluster scent of blanketed apathy that derives nothing but stagnation But my revelry and boldness leaves time howling with indignation After all, I must clip resignation like a dead petal clinging to my past Like a vulture over a water hole that has dried up and was never meant to last That breaks the molded plaster cast of what has been dictated as acceptable And bend my theory of happiness to include the improbable and unpredictable As I admittedly sit at the dinner table of the contrite and quite possibly write By blue candle light, a future that opens a fresh set of eyes to unknown sights While my decrepit past is remembered, but dieing in a bright collision with destiny
Fleeting glimpse of happiness plays against the background of my mind Taking the place of where only the most prominent events have dined On the delicate rose lined path that leads the way to a special place That only my grandest desires have graced and added a pebble to the vase That I hope will overflow the glow that your beautiful face has created Stirring feelings I thought long lost and the whirlwind has not yet abated The force ripping the crumbling cross bucks from the gated archways That held my ambivalence, but have now been strewn aside by your gaze Setting my heart completely ablaze by the rays of your blue bird paradise On these cold and mercifully desolate rocks your heat feels radiant and nice And has started the slice that will cut through my shackles of complacency And free my intentions and wake my feelings from a long slumber of Latency I want to be lost at sea and breathless in your blue gaze tranquility Rippling on the rim of spilling over and over – saved only by our speed and agility Nothing restoring stability from the maelstrom like the life raft of completeness
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Check out Justin's poem,
Stirring the
Darkness.
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